It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
