Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
