Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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