Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
