I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize