At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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