Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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