I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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