I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
