I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
