Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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