hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish you could order shots online.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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