Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
