My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
