I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
