I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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