Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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