i always forget guys have bellybuttons
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
