he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
