We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Soap is not a condiment
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
