dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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