I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize