I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
