scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
