i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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