it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
