that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
