How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
