I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
