Screwed.edu
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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