I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize