my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
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i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
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let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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