Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize