..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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