is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
