Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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