Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she pinky promised me she was 18
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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