i permit you to call me
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
sarcasm needs its own font
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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