I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You smell like stripper and shame
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Damn victory sex feels great
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
