honey bunches of taint.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
