last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
