Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
