She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
