Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Panties = found
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
