he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
as a side note pls kill me
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
