i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Found your dick twin last night
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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