Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
