The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I wear drunk well.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
