there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
