i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
