so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Fuck appropriateness.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
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I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize