in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You're like the curious george of whores
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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