used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's not a walk of shame if you run
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
