You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize