she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You did what with his pubic hair?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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