nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
