I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
