i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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