I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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