Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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