My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
pray to the hookup gods
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
