Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
