I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
