So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
