we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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