you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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